So James tried this new Schick Quattro Titanum razor, and oh my God, he's never bled so much in his life, including the time he bit off the tip of his tongue by falling into a bathtub. To the razor's credit, he says, it didn't hurt at all; it was like being sliced to death by painless little lasers.

Why do I mention this? Revenge, I guess. Google-polluting their product's name. That's all.