How I Jerk Off
August 15, 2007 7:04 PM | 2

 

So, I got an email the other night from a person whom I consider a colleague, in that we're both writers who blog in similar circles and exchange emails from time to time. She wants to interview me for an online video documentary about a particular genre of onanism.

That is to say, she wants me to have a chat with the Internet about how I jerk off.

On one hand, if I may use that expression: she's a very cool person, and the specifics of the project itself are very cool. It has some particularly A-list talent involved behind the camera.

But: I do not wish for every stranger I meet for the rest of my life have potential familiarity with my particular methods of self-abuse.

And I wonder why, exactly, I feel that way and so strongly. Obviously this is a bad idea (for me, I mean; not necessarily for other people). It is an idea so bad that it is visible from space; so colossally inadvisable that I am unable to accurately describe its parameters as they bow from one horizon to another. But the only reason I can muster at the moment is, "I just feel like it is." Which isn't particularly logical.

Our social evolution has brought us to a place where most people would decline to publicly delineate this particular topic. There's obviously a reason that we are allowed to talk about, for example, being attracted to Daniel Radcliffe; but we must never reveal the physical extent of our attraction. Why? What's the benefit to keeping that a secret?

2

try one raw piece of meat with butter between it feel jus like da reel thing
try a watermelon or a dog

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