If You Don't Have Anything Nice to Say
March 20, 2008 11:44 AM | 1

 

I was accused of being a little confrontational and harsh with my assessment that my friends' Facebook statuses are only about 10% interesting. That's not what I intended -- I meant to be very confrontational. So let me be clear: here are the 20 most recent updates -- and, depending on the amount of charity that I feel obligated to extend to my associates, there are somewhere between four and eight that are fully interesting pieces of writing. (So, fine; 20% to 40% interesting. It's still not a lot.) The remainder swerve between nearly-valuable information to not-quite-compelling gossip to why-are-you-telling-me-this.

That is to say: the healthy normal human reaction to nearly all of these tidbits is, "...and?"

• working
• two tickets for goldfrapp purchased
• applying ARG mechanics to virtual worlds
• transitioning back to the real world
• gonna make it through the day with Marlene Dietrich
• wants a choco taco
• prepping a sweater
• one day till spring break
• staying crunchy in milk
• blown away by Barack Obama
• in LA
• voting for American Idol
• never wants to see an Irish Car Bomb ever again
• there's a fucking queue for the bus
• in need of something fun to do
• working
• feeling crappy and the weather ain't helping his flu
• %$@%@$^$%.
• seeing Margaret Cho tonight
• went to a uconn law alum event last night

I know that the people with whom I am friends are capable of being interesting -- otherwise I would have ceased to be friends with them. But the Internet is a relentless dullifying machine.