Being Alive is Hard Work
August 26, 2008 12:04 PM | 2

 

So, I noticed a weird bruisy spot between my toes. It's asymmetric, has irregular borders, varies in color, and has a roughly 6mm diameter. Which, whoops, are the primary symptoms of melanoma.

Time to make a dermatologist appointment, right? Right.

I call Anthem, which is basically Blue Cross, to ask how I should go about making an appointment. They're closed because it's 5:05pm. I call the next day, and they tell me that I have to call Brown and Toland, which is my medical group, whatever the hell that means.

I call Brown and Toland. They're closed because it's 4:30pm. I call the next day and they tell me that I have to call a dermatologist.

I mention this to James, and he says no -- I have an HMO, so I have to get a referral. Okay.

So I call my doctor's number, which turns out not to be his number at all: a hospital receptionist picks up the phone. I explain things. She says I have to call the hospital's referral line.

I call that number, and get a voicemail saying that I should leave my details, and they'll call me back in one or two days.

Then I died of cancer.