Finally, some fucking peace and quiet. Now, let's get some shit done.
This thing is like two pages long! TL; DR.
Here's the short version: we're going to try out this experiment that might make it easier to fix things about our lives that bug us, by being practical and selfish, instead of doing useless foofy shit.
So, what's all this now?
Let's stop fucking whining about the shit we want to change about our lives and just take care of it already. Instead of planning for a year to have one amazing week, we're going to plan for one week to have an amazing year.
Is it going to work?
I dunno.
What does this have to do with that summer camp in the desert?
Nothing. This isn't the anti-that. It gave us the idea, but now the two are so different they aren't related. Frigid Bitch is its own thing.
What do I have to fucking do?
Hey, I like your moxie, jackass. First, we're going to figure out what it is we want to change. Then we're going to figure out why we can't do it. Then we're going to figure out how to mooch off of each other to make it un-impossible. Part of the plan involves relying on a group, instead of trying to tackle everything by yourself. The rest of the plan involves booze.
What's first?
First, we're going to figure out what you want to change during the coming year. Like writing a book, learning Swahili, getting a new job, planning a wedding, visiting Spain, getting a boyfriend, dumping a boyfriend, starting a business, ending an addiction, getting hot, learning to garden, building a car, or, you know, whatever. The thing that you would be happy if you were doing, but aren't. You probably already know what needs changing.
Then what?
Then, figure out exactly what you want to change between Frigid Bitch's first month and Frigid Bitch's twelfth month -- How you want things to be different in one year. Write that down. Be accurate and specific.
Then what?
Look at what you wrote down -- the change you want to make is impossible, right? Write down the reason it's impossible. Be accurate and specific.
Then what?
Then we bitches team up and we will show each other what we wrote down: the stuff we want to change (which isn't a "goal," because this isn't a fucking self-improvement seminar; it's just the shit we want to do), and the reasons that it's impossible. And then we all pick at each other's reasons-it's-impossible until they're gone. That sounds lame, right, but it happens and it's the weirdest thing ever. Somehow, when you get bitches together, they can solve everyone's shit but their own, and that's what we need each other for.
Then what?
Then we go home and freak out and don't do anything about it for a few days.
So why is this going to work?
Because we've got nagging bitches to keep us on track. For every change you want to make, you find one person to keep checking on you, and to nag you to carry through, and to not believe your bullshit. And you're going to do that for someone else. Don't let anybody down by dropping the ball here, because if you do, you're worse than Hitler. This is the part where we do the shit we said we would, so just fucking do it. Nag, do what you're told, make it happen. The bitches figured out what you need to do. Now do it.
And then what?
Then a year'll go by. Things will happen that we could not have possibly foreseen, and nothing will work how we planned, but one thing's for sure: something is pretty much guaranteed to happen. So let's see what that's going to be, and do everything we can to make it awesome.
