Here's a theme that's frequently repeated in this book: it used to be that a mythological system would nurture us from birth; but these days, there's much less of that. You're not necessarily assumed to be under the protection of so-and-so, or forbidden from doing such-and-such. So it's hard to center yourself and unscramble your labyrinth into an orderly mandala. Or in other words: the feeling that used to be called a mid-life crisis has expanded to encompass our entire lives.

But, Joseph says, it's still possible to figure out what it is that fulfills you. All you have to do is listen very carefully to what's happening in your head, watch for certain telltale signs, and then pounce.

The first guide to watch for: "a personality in your youth who seemed to you a noble and great personality." I personally think it's a bit narrow to only look for personalities; in fact, I find it more useful to examine books and movies and fictional characters. The things that called to you as a kid do generally call to you still.

But what about the stuff that you revisit as an adult, only to be disappointed? I had that experience with Count Duckula, which I loved when I was 8 but was not so excited about when I was 20. In those cases, I think it's important to think about them not necessarily as you currently perceive them, but as you remember them. When I was 8, there was something that I loved and remembered -- in the case of Count Duckula, it was simultaneous exploration and mayhem and silliness; and even though the show wasn't quite sophisticated enough to age with me, I still love silly exploratory mayhem.

The second guide to watch for is a bit more vague: bliss. Er, okay, what exactly does bliss mean? Well, it's like art or porn; you know it when you see it. Joseph calls it "doing what you absolutely must do to be yourself." For me, it's stuff like cooking dinner for the person I love, or Mario Kart, or explaining, or putting things in alphabetical order. You have to avoid the trap of thinking about what bliss means to you, because then you unavoidably start thinking about what you think bliss should be. Instead, think about your happy happy feelings, and then bask in them for a while, and then snap yourself out as suddenly as you can and look around and see what you were actually doing.

Following this guide requires a certain vigilance. It's hard to find; but give it some time and it'll come to you. And the moment you catch yourself doing that perfect thing, you have to seize it and never let go, no matter where it drags you. That's how I wound up in San Francisco, and thank God I did.